|I always thought myself to be a type “A” individual…mean, I like to be in control. I like things to be just as I planned and most of all, I like things to be perfect.
When I got pregnant, I was sure that I would schedule a C-section and plan out my birth down to the detail…after all, I was in charge. But as time went on and I became more and more in love with my baby and I started thinking that perhaps the route I had chosen was not the best route for my baby…so I started educating myself more and reading about a more natural approach to childbirth.
As I began to learn (and embrace) this natural path, I started to begin shaping a new plan of action…one that included a doula to be my guide through this journey. I found a fabulous doula (Vivian Keeler) and she suggested I take a hypnobirthing class. I said I was pretty prepared without it but she gently insisted and I agreed to give it a chance. My husband and I went to our classes and with each week that passed I began letting go of the control I thought I had and began putting my trust in my body and in my baby.
I listened to the affirmations daily and truly believed them. Why had I waited so long to trust my body? I mean, who would know better about this birth than my body itself…after all, everything was happening so naturally already.
I hadn’t done anything to make sure the heart was in tact, or that the liver had been formed, or that ten fingers and toes were created…my body had done that. All on its own.
My body knew exactly what to do…so why wouldn’t it know how to give birth?
And that was it…once I let go of that control and believed in myself, my body and my baby…I was no longer scared. I was no longer nervous. It was an unknown road for me but a totally natural path for my body.
When my labor began…I was so calm. I remember thinking “there’s nothing for me to do here except relax and allow everything to happen.”
I walked my dogs around the block and stopped to breath through a contraction. My hubby ran be a nice long hot shower and little by little, the contractions became closer and closer.
We finally checked in to the hospital when I was 5cm…and I progressed pretty normally.
Every time I felt a contraction coming, I would breath and my doula would tell me “don’t fight it, relax and let it wash over you”…which was exactly what I needed to remind myself of.
At one point, I do remember her asking me how I was feeling…I was at 9 cm at this time…and I said, I feel a bit uncomfortable but I’m not in pain.
Which was the truth…I was uncomfortable. My body was feeling out of shape and sore but I wasn’t in pain. And certainly not the kind of pain you hear/see about when others discuss childbirth.
The last 45 minutes, which is when I pushed, were like a whirlwind but I do remember being more present and playing an active role in the birth. I was aware that finally my body needed my assistance and together we were able to help little Mia come out and take her first breath.
I never have felt more empowered and overjoyed than I did that day. I have never felt so amazed at my own body and its strength as the moment I gave birth. It is, and will probably always be, the greatest achievement of my life. And it was ONLY possible because I learned to trust my body. I learned to let go of the control, the perfection, the need to plan & organize. And you know what? Everything happened perfectly…I couldn’t have planned it better myself.
I’m so grateful to my doulas (Vivian was at another birth when I went into labor so my “back up” doula, Trudy, came)…both of them were so supportive. Vivianne led me down a powerful path as my hypnobirth instructor and Trudy helped me stay on it while I was in labor.
I have recommended hypnobirth classes to every single pregnant friend I have and many have taken it because of my heartfelt and honest belief that it works.
It helps teach you to trust yourself and that lesson is a powerful one…not just in childbirth but in parenting and in your overall life.
I’m forever grateful for the insight I gained by taking this course.